dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
