YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
