i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
