I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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