Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
