Got a toothbrush?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
