ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
