she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
