It's Friday. Sex?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
