his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
