Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
