oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
