i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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