How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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