She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
