NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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