Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
