pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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