my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
