he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I know her cup size but not her name....
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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