Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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