im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize