No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
