His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
