were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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