Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
