I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm both gender and math confused
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
