thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
