I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
