well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
