Do vagina's smell?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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