so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
