I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
