she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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