The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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