Porn is love you can see.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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