First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
