dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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