Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
