is your mom at the bar?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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