Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
