come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
