New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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