do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
