Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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