Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
