Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
either way he was missing a nipple.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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