At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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