So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
