Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize