Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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