haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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