Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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