Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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