Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You ruined the universe
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
