Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
