my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
