Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
