This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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