We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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