Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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