Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she told me i tasted like america
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
