he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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