Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
