i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
