You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
